The Night the Howard's Went to the Circus

Dear Friend,

*******Warning******** don't ever ever ever ever ever try what I am about to tell you, it may be hazardous to your health.

So I am having a great day today. Not too hard, awesome Men's Prayer Breakfast, workout, head to the office to get some work done. About lunch time I had this wild idea that I would fulfill a promise I had made to Hannah (my daughter) a few weeks back. I had promised her that I would take her to see the Circus when it came to town. What I didn't realize and understand was that I would be bringing my own Circus to the Von Braun Center on February 25 2009.

I got the tickets today and the lady screwed up my order and instead of it being close to the action, she gave me the worst possible seats in the house, that's right, you guessed it....nose bleeds! So I said, "Well lets give it a shot, it cant really be that bad right?" The last time I was at the Circus I don't remember the lights ever really going out for extended periods of time or loud music blaring. I figured we would see a few cats in a cage and maybe an elephant or two walk around and the typical flying trapeze and the motorcycle guy in the cage. Apparently the Circus got its act together and is now officially "The Greatest Show on Earth" especially if you just came from a Grateful Dead concert or you are doing drugs. My wife and I are both a.d.d. and you can only imagine how screwed up I was when the place turned into a night club with animals.

We got dinner and as Super Dad wished, he had everyone there on time and in their seats before the show started. I was immediately taken back at how awesome of a set up Ringling Brothers had in relation to its visual graphics and audio etc. Let me go back and say that the trip from the car to the Von Braun Center was tough as well. I am hauling a camera, 2 bags, a 30 pound toddler after doing burn outs on biceps today in the gym. Needless to say I was in pain by the time we got to the door. Carrie had the baby strapped to her chest and had Hannah by the hand. Oh and don't let me forget that Andrew crapped in his britches (yes I said britches) just before we left the car. Unfortunately it was a terrible mess, explosion if you will. Thank goodness Carrie cleaned him because I would have hurled in the road right where are car was.

No later than they turn the lights off do the kids start trying to stand up in their seats to see what was happening. The club lights began going and music blaring loud. Baby began to cry and before long had pooped on himself again after being scared by the Elephants or something. Let me paint another picture for you. We are as I said before at the very top of the Center and its probably 110 degrees with three babies in a jam tight space. Before long, Abigail starts to wiggle and squirm and starts throwing a tantrum. Try playing zone defense in a seat up in the nose bleeds for 2 hours straight, its not fun! Hannah wants popcorn every time she sees the stupid circus vendor and of course he has to come right up to the top row with the toys that are flashing "Buy me for 1,000,000.00 and watch me light up!" Pretty soon they are bringing cotton candy, drinks, toys, popcorn and they are all 12 dollars a piece!

Somehow I convince Hannah that the popcorn price is highway robbery and divert her attention to her wonderful cotton candy. 5 seconds later she has to go potty. At this moment in time, Carrie has changed 3 diapers, I have wrestled Abigail continuously and people have stood right in front of us during the show. I am slowly losing my cool but some how kept it. Carrie was about to convince Hannah to go potty in a diaper but the women next to us offered to take her to the potty. "Crap" I said.... now somebody has to take her and Carrie is feeding Andrew and taming Abby... who cares if a Circus is going on, we have our own going on up in the nose bleeds! We get to the Men's Bathroom which is always disgusting and I am of course irritated that there are no family bathrooms, so I just did my best and drug her into the men's bathroom. Of course the stalls were filthy and I didn't let her touch a thing. I looked around and of course people destroyed each stall accept for one. Somehow there was one that was untouched or at least appeared that way.

Finally we got done, I am sweating and tired and missing the show. I bought Hannah a little crown for her to remember this night by. Besides, she was having a blast! Finally we get back up to the nose bleeds and sit down, only to be comforted that Andrew was crying and Abigail was freaking out. 30 more minutes pass of insanity and finally.... the show is over! We thought we had experienced it all and apparently the circus folk beat us to East Limestone County where I passed by a person taking a poop in on the side of the road! What the heck? I mean seriously! What a night! Nobody died, or bled, and it was all worth seeing the happiness in their eyes and the circus was an amazing thing to watch. I highly recommend it for a date but not with 2 toddlers, and an infant. Lesson learned and wont ever be forgotten!

Dave